2012 Nissan Altima 4 DR
Where to being with the Nissan Altima? I’m just going to put it out there and say,
straight up that I do not like this car.
Obviously I’m going to go into those reasons in this review, and I hope
my opinions can help you if you are seriously looking to buy this car, but if
you absolutely love the Nissan Altima and do not want to see me throwing shade
on it, then perhaps you should not read this.
While perusing the All Mighty Interwebz I noticed pictures of the Altima
with lots of different options, this car does not have those options. This is a disclaimer I have included in all
of my reviews and I will say it again, the model that was used in this review
is used in a rental fleet and even though we only keep them for a short time
(yes, you can purchase used rentals cars but I would not recommend it) they
still do not have special options included, we get the standard models. And with the price tag that is associated for
just the standard options who could afford anything special in it anyway? Definitely not a twenty-something who is just
trying to figure out how to pay all the bills… D:
In the shady underbelly of the rental car world the Nissan
Altima is classified as a full size car, so you would expect it to be big and
it does not disappoint. The exterior of
the vehicle is rounded on all sides which I suppose could be considered giving
it a sleek look, if something big and cumbersome can even be sleek. The car is long but what really stands out to
me is how long and wide the front end of this car is. I suppose comparing it to smaller cars is not
fair because of course the front is smaller if they are in a smaller category
but the hood is like three times larger than the hood on my Kia Forte. But it does look a lot like the hood for the
large Ford Crown Victoria (the cop car, for those of you who don’t know). This large and wide front end obviously has
some consequences when getting behind the wheel but we will get to that later.
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| Look at how long and wide that hood is. Ugly. |
The trunk is not as large as you may think, it is not by any
means small, but it is still the same approximate size of the trunk on the
standard size Ford Fusion and the midsize Chevy Cruze. The back seats do go down and that will give
you a larger trunk, but for a vehicle that feels as big and cumbersome as this
one, I think they should have made the trunk bigger. The seats and other parts of the interior are
made from suede or a suede-like material, a fabric that is nice to touch but
could you imagine if someone spilled a milkshake or something equally as disastrous? It would be a nightmare to get out of those
seats, and even if you could get it all out, I don’t think you would be able to
do it without leaving a terrible scar where you would be forever reminded of
the traumatizing event. That being said,
at least the seats are comfortable. The
back doors have a small open space that looks like you could use as a cup
holder but it doesn’t seem like it has been expressly put there for this
purpose – some cars have little diagrams so you get the picture (pun
intended!). Like many cars that are a
midsize or larger, there is an armrest/cup holder that can be pulled down to
sit between the two back seats, and then… that’s it. There is nothing more in the back seats, not
even one 12 volt jack for the passengers to fight over. With the prices that are associated with Nissans
they should have at least put some more pizazz in the back, I’m not impressed.
Moving on up the ladder brings you to the front; the seats
are still made of the suede fabric and to be fair they are large and
comfortable, but they should be in this class, so it’s really nothing special
if it’s to be expected. The glove
compartment is actually pretty large, a good quality if you have lots of beanie
babies to hide so no one smashes your window to get to them (remember when that
actually happened?), and it also locks, which seems to be a common feature in
this car group. An uncommon feature that
you find in this glove compartment is a small lever that sits on the left side,
it is a trunk lock button. If you want
to make it so the trunk does not open even if you press the trunk button in the
car or on the key fob. It is an interesting
feature that I have not seen before, but I wonder what is the point? If someone has your key or is inside your car
then that is not going to stop them from getting into your trunk. Maybe if you kidnapped someone, put them in the
trunk, but their brave yet stupid friend chased you down, got a hold of your
key, tried to open the trunk , and in the time it took for them to realize the
trunk isn’t opening you hit them in the face and take your key back. Although I’m sure there are plenty of other
possibilities. Because we are already
talking about the trunk and trunk related things I want to bring up the button
to open the trunk that is actually in the car.
I bring it up because it’s difficult to find. It’s not on the bottom by the gas button, oh
no, that would be too easy. The trunk
button is actually located on the bottom left side behind the steering
wheel. It is a little black lever that
has a picture of the trunk on it, but because it is placed near the bottom of
the board it is difficult to see the picture.
It took me a while to find this dumb button.
The front doors have cup holders in them that are intended
for bottles only so I don’t suggest suing Nissan if hot coffee spills all over
your leg. The middle cubby is a pretty
good size, I’ve seen bigger, and trust me, size does matter. The middle has two sections, the top one is
shallow where the bottom one is deep and inside there is a 12 volt AC jack. Directly in front of the cubby is another
lidded section and you have to press down on the lid to open it. Inside you will find 3 distinct dishes and
two small carved out areas. Two of the
dishes are obviously cup holders, one being larger than the other and you can
make it even larger by taking a plastic piece out (finally, a place to put my
giant Slurpee!), but the third dish is not so obvious. It is too shallow to effectively hold a cup,
possibly a cup of ice cream? Who knows,
you can put whatever the hell you want in there, I don’t really care. I can only assume the small crevices are made
for coins, what else would fit? But I
have seen this in other cars, and I just hate it, the only way to actually hold
any coins in there is if you took the time to line them all up on their sides,
ain’t nobody got time for that. One
thing I do like about this middle unit is that you can take the whole piece
out, whether you’re supposed to or not is probably a good question, but it
makes it super easy to clean the whole unit and if you don’t want to put it
back in then you another lidded compartment.
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| See the 2 spaces on the right? What are those for?? |
Moving towards the front of the car, above the cup holders
is the shifter, and then you hit the middle console. On the bottom is yet another lidded
compartment that you have to press on the lid for it to open. This space is felt-lined (fancy) and is actually
a nice size, most of the time the little compartments here and there in cars
seem small and pointless, but you could fit a GPS or GPS-sized item in this
one.
Above this compartment are the temperature controls which
are basic and easy to understand, always a good thing. From the temperature control you find the
radio controls where you will find the AUX port to the right. I applaud Nissan for putting the AUX port in
an easy to get to and obvious place, unlike other car makers who feel it is
their solemn duty to hide this port (like in the glove compartment, wtf Ford?),
but I still shake my head at Nissan because there is no USB port. When even a teeny tiny Kia Rio has a USB
port, the hulking Nissan Altima does not have one? How does that make sense and why would you
pay so much more for something that isn’t even as well-equipped? Above the radio buttons is the actual display,
it is long and narrow and pretty simple.
The whole middle console is simple but so incredibly ugly! It looks like this would be found in the
Flintstones car, even the font on the radio looks ugly and antiquated. All of this would be fine if it weren’t pricey. Why in the world would I shell out the cash
for a car that looks this ugly? It seems
to be a full size problem though, because the interior of the Chevy Impala is
also less than impressive, but the Toyota Camry is nice, so it can’t be all of them.
 |
| So ugly |
Moving on to an important feature is that the Nissan Altima
is keyless (I will get to the key soon) and therefore it does not have the
tradition ignition; in the place of the key hole is the start/stop button which
even says START/STOP on it. This button
is almost exactly where the key hole usually is so I don’t know why it is so
hard for people to find this button (which even lights up in a Nissan), but
wonders never cease and customers just have the hardest time finding it.
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| You can see the Start/Stop button pretty clearly on the right side. |
Like I explained, this car is keyless, but that does not
mean you can just hop in and drive it away.
You do still need a key but it doesn’t look like a traditional key. It looks like another cars key fob, like the
fobs that come on some Kias, and it has all of the same buttons – lock, unlock,
trunk, and panic. To start the car you
only need the key inside of the car, it can be in your pocket, bag, etc. and you
will then put your foot on the brake and press the start button at the same time. You need to have your foot on the brake and
pressing the button at the same time or it won’t start. There have been countless customers who just
don’t get this concept even after I have told them what to do, and there is
even a little diagram that pops up on the digital display (where it shows the
odometer) that tells you that you need to have your foot on the brake. I don’t know why this concept is so strange
to people, but they just can’t fathom it I guess. To turn off the vehicle you just do the same
thing – foot on the brake and press the button.
I also explain this to people because there have been some who have just
walked away not realizing the car was still on.
This little fob is hiding a secret though, there is still a physical key
hidden in it. On the back of the unit
there is a little tiny lever you pull down and the key pops out from the
top. You can use this key to get in and
out of the car, but if you need to start it then you are SOL. Some people could then ask, what do you do
when it runs out of batteries? Well then
you have to pay out the $300 (yes $300) to get a new one. I’m not sure how long the batteries last, but
I have to imagine it’s pretty long although I really don’t know.
To Nissans credit the steering wheel is not actually too big
and cumbersome, something that happens far too often in my opinion, but that is
overshadowed by how lackluster it is.
There are only cruise control settings that are found on the right side
of the wheel, that’s it, and (surprise, surprise) it’s ugly. I feel like a broken record with this car;
why would I pay money for an ugly car that isn’t even as nicely equipped as
so-called “cheap” brands that at least have media and Bluetooth controls
integrated on the wheel.
 |
| Still ugly. |
I think I have made it pretty clear that I do not like the
important parts of the inside of this vehicle, but what I hate the most about
the Nissan Altima is how it drives. First,
the wheel is not smooth, fluid, or any of that, it is the exact opposite. This is the steering wheel that feels like
you are pulling it through molasses, and I know it has nothing to do with the
size of the vehicle because the full size Toyota Camry steers like a dream. Second is how it moves – this cars is so unwieldy
(a customer called it clumsy) and because the front end is so long and wide it
makes you feel like you will have to drop anchor when you park. For real, it feels like you are driving a
Ford Crown Victoria and this car is a
step away from an old man car. The turning
radius on this car is also really poor, not quite as bad as a Lincoln Town Car,
but definitely up there with the Crown Vic.
If you’re going to buy this car you might as well just get a Crown Vic
and be done with it.
So there you have it, I don’t like this car. The interior is ugly and boring, the exterior
is long and wide, and it is cumbersome to drive. If you want a full size go with a Toyota
Camry; a Chevy Impala isn’t much better but for some reason I don’t dislike it
as much, maybe because it doesn’t seem like Chevy is going for the wrong
audience. Nissan seems to be marketing
the Altima to a younger crowd, not people in their 20s, but more like
professionals in their 30s, when they should be going for people in their 60s. My biggest beef is that Nissans are supposed
to be nice cars and are marketed as such, but in reality they are clunky, ugly,
and unequipped.
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